Tag Archives: happiness

Depression and the Dreamer: My Story

Ever since my voice first cracked, depression became a major problem. At first, it was the acne, then my seemingly permanent braces, and finally, a vague, deepening feeling of insecurity. I was refugee skinny, my face was weak, and I would wake up every morning, stare at my mirror image, and think of all the structural changes that I wished my genetics had determined instead. A bit of bone here, a little less hair there, a smidgen more muscle everywhere. I was ugly. That was my view of myself, and it influenced everything about me.

But I made it through high school relatively unscathed, mostly because I pushed myself to be active in athletics, earned high marks in my classes, and developed a sense of humor that earned me friends enough that I was sure I was a person of value, even if I was physically unattractive. Importantly, I forced myself to discover and cultivate aspects of my personality that gave me a feeling of value as a human being.

Unfortunately, my depression was not left behind in high school. The unique pressures of college introduced new and even greater problems. In college, though my looks transformed – many even thought I was attractive (oh happy day!) – I found myself struggling with my social self-worth. I met great people and was part of a fun group, but I was no longer the center of attention, a role that I had grown used to in high school as the ‘clown’. My social anxiety and insecurity, however, was ultimately minor in comparison to new issues concerning my academics and career path, and what followed was the most severe, long-lasting depression of my life.

But let’s backtrack to the beginning of college. Continue reading

CHASE YOUR FUCKING DREAMS.

If you knew that you would die in 10 years, would you work the same job? Would you study the same subjects in college or graduate school? Would you live in the same city? Would you try to meet different people? Would you travel more?

What about 15 years? 20 years? 25 years?

If you would change the way you live or study or work, then consider this:

Assumption #1
The tail end of one’s life is largely a byproduct of the rest.

Assumption #2
You are somewhere between 20 and 40 years of age.

Conclusion
You have roughly 25 years (give or take 10) to make good on your dreams.

Tick tock, motherfucker. Continue reading