Tag Archives: psychology

Needs vs. Wants: Feeding your Dream

It’s not an uncommon sight — a dreamer, slouched over his desk, trying desperately not to succumb to inertia — if only he had the willpower to focus, if only he had the persistence to continue in the wake of defeat, if only.

Distraction.  Fear.  Laziness.  The sum of these forces pervades our lives and prevents so many of us from accomplishing that which we truly desire.  This seems counter-intuitive.  If this dream is what our heart demands, then we should not feel lazy in pursuing it, right?

Wrong.

The reason why we so often find ourselves stuck in patterns of behavior that contribute to our eventual failure is because we make the mistake of merely wanting our dreams as opposed to needing them.

Society teaches us to contextualize our dreams as aspirations, as wants, things of passing fancy that, if left in poor condition, we will eventually abandon.  But desire is a spectrum.  At one end is want, and at the other is need.  Thus, there is something transformative in wanting enough that you generate a need.

So make your dream a necessity.  Want your dream so thoroughly that you feel you need it to survive, each step along the path a treasured breath saving you from drowning, each failure feeding your continued appetite.

We allow ourselves to sabotage our own success because we give ourselves conscious opportunities to do so.  Remember, want is conscious, need is unconscious.  If you have to think about what you’re going to do, chances are you’ll think up something to distract yourself with, too.  

When you’re hungry, you eat.  You don’t avoid eating by virtue of laziness.  You don’t get distracted from hunger.  You get distracted by hunger.  Aim to internalize your dreams in much the same way.  Know that you cannot survive without your dream.  Let the pangs of your unfulfilled dream frustrate you until you are forced to satisfy it.  Feed it, feed it, feed it.